Nearly a year ago my Firm’s LGBT network put on an event named ‘Authenticity in the Workplace’. Ruth Hunt, the CEO of Stonewall, was speaking and I was curious to hear what she had to say and decided to go along.
To that point my Trans experience was really a melting pot of envy, excitement, guilt and shame. I desperately wanted to live as a woman, but it felt like any move in that direction would end in calamity both for me, and for those I love.
The core message of the evening was a ‘lights on’ moment for me. If we are not able to be ourselves then we cannot give of our best. The context of the event was work, but for me I knew it has to apply to the whole of my life.
I came away knowing that I really had to be true to myself and that has to involve change.
As I write, I’m aware that my dysphoria is really strong. For a variety of reasons things are not going as quickly as I would have liked, and as a result I’m really distracted. This is a danger zone for me as it robs the rest of my life from the attention it needs. For me this is a provocation that I need to press on and continue this journey.
By the way, Ruth Hunt was brilliant. She was witty, straight talking and disarmingly vulnerable. I came away with an immense amount of respect for her, and for Stonewall too.